Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
