I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
