No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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