At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
bring money and cleavage
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
