He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
