i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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