butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
