Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
