Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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