drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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