i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
