Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
