I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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