Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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