hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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