he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
