his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
