Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
