wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
