I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
