they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
