after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The beer is more important than you right now.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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