guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
