I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
