you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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