She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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