Can i not drive my cunt home
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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