Kiss
Puke
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
