During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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