Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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