O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
