two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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