I didn't shave. On purpose
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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