I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
