Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
