She's JV to your varsity
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
