Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
