What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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