I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
