Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on

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(710): View more from

So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )

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(720): View more from Colorado

I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.

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(425): View more from Washington

he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"

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(425): View more from Washington

the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side

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(815): View more from Illinois

have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?

(1-815): View more from Illinois

why can't you just be normal

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(914): View more from New York

He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.

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