Who wears a wallet chain?!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
