why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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