Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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