im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
