We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
