Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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