It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize
