I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
