you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
