GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
